2016! Yes. Hopefully it has started well for you, but for me it has been eight days of hauling myself out of a black hole. I’m not often, or ever clinically, depressed (thank heavens) – but I do get low sometimes. So it was good to finally feel like having a long over-due clearout of my so-called ‘home office’, and even better to come across this letter written by a past me to a future me! I thought I’d share it, as I seem to have been full of good advice – and it’s not a bad thing to do, stocking up encouragement for rainy days..
15th August 2012, Dhanakosa
Hello Kirsten, hello me, hello you.
Life’s what you make it. You’ve been very hard on yourself these past few days, it’s difficult to write kindly from here to there, even though kindness is what you need most – from the inside.
Contemplating your life, of course you have come up with tons of things that you could, you should, change for the better – be a better you, right now!! it has fired you up with hope and determination and fresh clarity, and if experience holds true you will try to do too much, too quickly, become disheartened and see it all as proof of your intrinsic crappiness.
So I’m here to tell you – baby steps. Little and often. Do whatever makes your heart soft. Remember that all you really need is the beach, and it’s right there – have you been yet today? Even in the dark, the waves make noise and you can see the shipping lights.
Turn yourself gently to all the good things you have around you. You are very, very lucky – and most of the time you get it right. Other people don’t all see you as ugly or as a failure. Go and paint your toenails for the sheer joy of having feet, you daftie! And if you’re still bothered by all the things you haven’t done yet, you can always write them on slips of paper and give yourself a lucky dip instead of a never-ending to-do list. Or you could just sit for ten minutes. That’s enough.
Take care of yourself. Phone a friend. x